Jokes & Tweets from Mike
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*Just did a big book signing at the Library,…. boy are they gonna be mad when they see my name in all those books…
* I'm to old to be on Tinder,.... so I'm on Smolder.
* I went out with a Crosseyed girl,.... but it turns out she was seeing somebody else
*I refuse to participate in Fantasy Football unless a woman is naked….
*1 out of 3 people get Shingles.... 2 out of 3 end up with aluminum siding.
* Met a guy at my show tonight that had seen me on a USO tour in the United Arab Emirates in 2004 when he was deployed with the Air Force. Pretty cool.
* I remember when Instagram meant the Coke dealer was coming right over…
*Verizon Wireless sucked so bad today that I couldn't even get Frog Protection.